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0013 - Recognize Effective Sentences
Recognizing Redundancy
Often, in student writing, one sentence will restate the point of a previous sentence. The second sentence may use different words, but it contains the same ideas. That is ineffective repetition. Effective repetition is using the same word or phrase or idea to underline or emphasize a point.
For example:
“College registration is a nightmare for most students. Many students learn to hate their colleges even before they attend their first classes.”
“A nightmare” in the first sentence and “learn to hate their colleges” mean essentially the same thing.
Either sentence, but not both, would make a good thesis statement for an essay on registration.
For example:
“College registration is a nightmare for most students. The bad dream begins with the miles of lines to enter the registration hall. After hours of shifting from foot to foot, the true horror becomes clear only after the unsuspecting freshman enters the nightmarish cacophony of sounds and sights within the hall itself.”
This example uses effective repetition of references to “nightmare” to underline the central image of the paragraph.
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